Christmas Past

Remember the days when Christmas was Christmas? None of this Politically correct, Retail Holiday crap we have today. 

It would start on Thanksgiving, granddaddy would  get the decorations from the attic, a nativity scene to put in the front yard, 3 foot tall plastic figurines with Mary and Joseph, three wise men, baby Jesus in a manger, all lite up, bales of hay all around making it look like a barn stall.

 Then up on the ladder stringing those lights with big ass blue, red, green and yellow bulbs hanging from the gutters. Spend all day trying to find the one that was burnt out keeping all the others from coming on.

Inside was that ugly ass shiny aluminum Christmas tree. It had the spinning wheel that sat beneath it with a light shining through a colored disc and everytime a different color would come around the tree would change colors.

Decorations all around the house sitting on every table, stockings hung on the fireplace, tinsel on every doorway, big plastic candles as tall as I was would light up at night sitting outside by the front door.

Every time the doors were open at church we had to be there, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. There was a youth group for the kids. We had to go all month long and practice singing Christmas carols. I guess when they thought we were ready, we would all pile on the church bus, didn't know where we were going but singing the whole way. We would get there and would have to be real quiet getting off the bus, sneak around to these peoples front yard, cold as shit, blowing your breath into your hands trying to keep your fingers from freezing and falling off, huddled up, somebody whispering "are you ready"  and then somebody whispering "not yet" , curtains pulling back and people peeking out the window then you hear someone say "go ahead". Somebody would walk up on the front porch, knock on the door, then when the door opened we would start into "Silver Bells". All that month of practicing it was time to show em what we got. People would start coming out on the front porch wrapped up in blankets and winter coats, they would roll somebody out the front door in a wheelchair pointing at us trying to get them to look at us, like they couldn't hear us, by now on to "Rudolph" already sang frosty the snowman. After what seemed like an hour and things were getting awkward, people on the porch been waving for 10 minutes, every one froze solid we would slow it down and go into Silent Night. A kid would walk up on the porch and try to hand a bag of fruit to the person in the wheel chair who didn't even know they were still alive. Finally the kid would sit the fruit in their lap and somebody would yell "back to the bus". We would all run for the bus to try and be first so you could get back seat. If you got the back seat then the two prettiest girls would sit with you and you would be the cool kid.

One night during the week you would have to get dressed up and momma would take you to Park Rd shopping center because that's where the North Pole was and Santa lived. You would stand in line outside in the freezing cold again waiting to get to the front where you had to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you wanted for Christmas while these elves took your picture. Apparently you had to do it or you wouldn't get any presents.

On Christmas Eve morning you'd hear all these sirens blasting first instinct was to jump on your bike to run catch the firetrucks to see who's house was on fire. Then you remember Santa always comes through town riding on the back of one and throwing candy. He must of been eating that candy cause he looked a whole lot fatter than last week when I sat on his lap. Something just never seem right with him. You could hear him going "ho ho ho" through the speaker on the front of the firetruck but his mouth never moved and he always looked like he been drinking.

 I couldn't ever figure out why we always had to go to bed early Christmas Eve because if we stayed up Santa wouldn't come. We weren't allowed to see him. If we saw him he would disappear and we wouldn't get presents but we just sat on his fucking lap two weeks ago. He knows us. Seemed to be a whole lot of stipulations on whether or not you got presents.

We would go to bed though and wait and listen to see if we could hear something. We waited and waited and waited then finally see a light come on down the hallway. It would stay on for a few minutes and then go out. We would sneak outta bed and tiptoe down the hallway, peak around the corner hoping to see a new BIG Wheel sitting there but wouldn't be a damn thing. Then you hear momma yell "go back to bed". You would probably do that three or four times until you fell asleep then all of a sudden you would wake up thinking oh shit I fell asleep, go running down the hallway, peek around the corner and HELL YEAH! There sat that BIG Wheel. After checking everything out you go wake everybody up.

 Gotta get up! Santa came! Oh baby go back to bed, "it's too early, Santa might not come if he knows you're up". Haha! That shit ain't working no more. Santa done come. GET UP! My Lord Bobby he's already seen the presents. What time is it. It's 4:30... GET UP! ok give me a minute, go wake your sister up. Screw that. You go running straight for the BIG wheel. You be riding that thing around the kitchen table, down the hallway through the living room around the coffee table back to the kitchen. You already got a track set up by the time everybody gets up.

Momma gets up and starts cooking breakfast. .. call down to granddaddy's house and telling them... "He's up. Yes I tried to get him to go back to bed but he already seen the BIG Wheel. Yes I got coffee going and I'm making breakfast now. Ok I'll see you in a minute".

You on lap 500 around the track, by now the kitchen is blocked off, can't go in there. Sucks because that's where the slick floors are and you can get a good drift around the table but that's ok because you wore out anyway.

About that time g'mama and g'daddy come in and you sitting on the BIG Wheel in turn 4 sound asleep drooling out the side of your mouth with a football helmet on, still in pajamas and wearing a new pair of Dingos..... Everybody else is awake now. Done had 2 cups of coffee, wide awake. They trying to wake you up to show mawmaw and paw paw what Santa brought you but no luck. Thirty minutes power nap later you up, ripping through wrapping paper, turtle neck sweater... Never wear it... Next..  new coat... Nothing wrong with my old one, new church shoes. .. come on people... Santa wasn't paying attention when I was giving him my list but dressed and out the door I go with the BIG Wheel, momma yelling from the kitchen "don't mess up your new coat and stay out of the street! " Down the driveway you go, sliding sideways into the street and down you go headed for the big hill.

Them days are gone. 

LWH2020