Christmas Past

Remember the days when Christmas was Christmas? None of this Politically correct, Retail Holiday crap we have today. 

It would start on Thanksgiving, granddaddy would  get the decorations from the attic, a nativity scene to put in the front yard, 3 foot tall plastic figurines with Mary and Joseph, three wise men, baby Jesus in a manger, all lite up, bales of hay all around making it look like a barn stall.

 Then up on the ladder stringing those lights with big ass blue, red, green and yellow bulbs hanging from the gutters. Spend all day trying to find the one that was burnt out keeping all the others from coming on.

Inside was that ugly ass shiny aluminum Christmas tree. It had the spinning wheel that sat beneath it with a light shining through a colored disc and everytime a different color would come around the tree would change colors.

Decorations all around the house sitting on every table, stockings hung on the fireplace, tinsel on every doorway, big plastic candles as tall as I was would light up at night sitting outside by the front door.

Every time the doors were open at church we had to be there, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. There was a youth group for the kids. We had to go all month long and practice singing Christmas carols. I guess when they thought we were ready, we would all pile on the church bus, didn't know where we were going but singing the whole way. We would get there and would have to be real quiet getting off the bus, sneak around to these peoples front yard, cold as shit, blowing your breath into your hands trying to keep your fingers from freezing and falling off, huddled up, somebody whispering "are you ready"  and then somebody whispering "not yet" , curtains pulling back and people peeking out the window then you hear someone say "go ahead". Somebody would walk up on the front porch, knock on the door, then when the door opened we would start into "Silver Bells". All that month of practicing it was time to show em what we got. People would start coming out on the front porch wrapped up in blankets and winter coats, they would roll somebody out the front door in a wheelchair pointing at us trying to get them to look at us, like they couldn't hear us, by now on to "Rudolph" already sang frosty the snowman. After what seemed like an hour and things were getting awkward, people on the porch been waving for 10 minutes, every one froze solid we would slow it down and go into Silent Night. A kid would walk up on the porch and try to hand a bag of fruit to the person in the wheel chair who didn't even know they were still alive. Finally the kid would sit the fruit in their lap and somebody would yell "back to the bus". We would all run for the bus to try and be first so you could get back seat. If you got the back seat then the two prettiest girls would sit with you and you would be the cool kid.

One night during the week you would have to get dressed up and momma would take you to Park Rd shopping center because that's where the North Pole was and Santa lived. You would stand in line outside in the freezing cold again waiting to get to the front where you had to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you wanted for Christmas while these elves took your picture. Apparently you had to do it or you wouldn't get any presents.

On Christmas Eve morning you'd hear all these sirens blasting first instinct was to jump on your bike to run catch the firetrucks to see who's house was on fire. Then you remember Santa always comes through town riding on the back of one and throwing candy. He must of been eating that candy cause he looked a whole lot fatter than last week when I sat on his lap. Something just never seem right with him. You could hear him going "ho ho ho" through the speaker on the front of the firetruck but his mouth never moved and he always looked like he been drinking.

 I couldn't ever figure out why we always had to go to bed early Christmas Eve because if we stayed up Santa wouldn't come. We weren't allowed to see him. If we saw him he would disappear and we wouldn't get presents but we just sat on his fucking lap two weeks ago. He knows us. Seemed to be a whole lot of stipulations on whether or not you got presents.

We would go to bed though and wait and listen to see if we could hear something. We waited and waited and waited then finally see a light come on down the hallway. It would stay on for a few minutes and then go out. We would sneak outta bed and tiptoe down the hallway, peak around the corner hoping to see a new BIG Wheel sitting there but wouldn't be a damn thing. Then you hear momma yell "go back to bed". You would probably do that three or four times until you fell asleep then all of a sudden you would wake up thinking oh shit I fell asleep, go running down the hallway, peek around the corner and HELL YEAH! There sat that BIG Wheel. After checking everything out you go wake everybody up.

 Gotta get up! Santa came! Oh baby go back to bed, "it's too early, Santa might not come if he knows you're up". Haha! That shit ain't working no more. Santa done come. GET UP! My Lord Bobby he's already seen the presents. What time is it. It's 4:30... GET UP! ok give me a minute, go wake your sister up. Screw that. You go running straight for the BIG wheel. You be riding that thing around the kitchen table, down the hallway through the living room around the coffee table back to the kitchen. You already got a track set up by the time everybody gets up.

Momma gets up and starts cooking breakfast. .. call down to granddaddy's house and telling them... "He's up. Yes I tried to get him to go back to bed but he already seen the BIG Wheel. Yes I got coffee going and I'm making breakfast now. Ok I'll see you in a minute".

You on lap 500 around the track, by now the kitchen is blocked off, can't go in there. Sucks because that's where the slick floors are and you can get a good drift around the table but that's ok because you wore out anyway.

About that time g'mama and g'daddy come in and you sitting on the BIG Wheel in turn 4 sound asleep drooling out the side of your mouth with a football helmet on, still in pajamas and wearing a new pair of Dingos..... Everybody else is awake now. Done had 2 cups of coffee, wide awake. They trying to wake you up to show mawmaw and paw paw what Santa brought you but no luck. Thirty minutes power nap later you up, ripping through wrapping paper, turtle neck sweater... Never wear it... Next..  new coat... Nothing wrong with my old one, new church shoes. .. come on people... Santa wasn't paying attention when I was giving him my list but dressed and out the door I go with the BIG Wheel, momma yelling from the kitchen "don't mess up your new coat and stay out of the street! " Down the driveway you go, sliding sideways into the street and down you go headed for the big hill.

Them days are gone. 

LWH2020

How we communicate

They say one thing that separates modern humans from everything else including our "cave man" ancestors is our development of a symbolic system of communication. In other words we learned to use spoken words, written words and symbols to communicate instead of grunts or hitting someone over the head with a club.

If you want my opinion, I agree it's for sure something that separates us from everything else but not so much in a good way. 

Words, the things we say to one another can and do often get misunderstood, taken out of context and used to lie or deceive. The things we write are forever. They can be looked up and used over and over for good or bad purposes. Symbols are sometimes used as things to separate us from one another and also to identify us, not always with good intentions.

This symbolic system of communication meant to be an advancement in our evolution has had and still has as much of a negative impact as it does a positive one on the human species. 

When we evolve further and learn that some traits we pick up along the line aren't always for the better or we learn to drop the negative aspects, using them in only positive ways, is when we will start to make progress once again in reaching our full potential.

Non verbal communication already makes up the majority of our communication anyway, we just don't realize it. How many times have you been looking at someone's body language and not hearing so much what they were saying but just on the way they were acting, you knew they were lying? Have you ever gotten a look from across the room and knew exactly what they were trying to tell you just from their facial expression alone? Have you ever gotten a simple wave or been blown a kiss and it was better than anything they could have said to you? Giving a stern look to a child often does more than any scolding or punishment you could give them.

We rely more on these unspoken words more than we realize. We know when someone isn't being honest with us, but we rarely say anything. Instead we will keep it to ourselves, letting them think they got away with it, then get a resentment from it. Usually making us not trust the person anymore. It may have been they were just too embarrassed to tell us that truth and not necessarily meant to intentionally deceive us or hurt us but since we don't say anything we'll never know. 

On the other side, we will still use words to try and get away with something or deceive someone, forgetting that 99 percent of the time it's obvious to the other person what we are doing. We do it anyway, they won't say anything, we think we got away with it but then wonder why they aren't talking to us anymore.

There's a right time and a wrong time for words. It seems too often that we say more or speak longer than we should, we try to comfort with words when a simple hug would have been better, we get frustrated with continually telling someone how much they mean to us when what we really need to be doing is showing them by spending time with them.

We need to stop using words so much and start doing or showing. Don't just tell someone you care about them, show them. Don't just tell those close to you that you love them, show them. Don't just tell someone that you are there for them if they need you, be there for them regardless. Don't wait on someone to ask you for help, help them without them having to ask.

When we start communicating with each other more through actions instead of words is when we will get to that next level. It's when we will start understanding each other and what we are trying to say instead of misunderstanding. It's when we will stop lying to ourselves and to each other and start being honest. It's when we will start being more accepting and less expecting, trusting and less suspicious, more helpful and less hurtful. We will start living a more peaceful life, in harmony with one another, understanding our true purpose or meaning rather than a life of routine, slaves to a system feeling lost and misunderstood. 

SHOW someone today that you care about them. 

SHOW someone today that you love them. 

SHOW someone today that you have their back and are there for them.

SHOW someone today how much they mean to you.

Also, remember as parents, we aren't raising kids, we're raising adults. Show your children how adults act, don't tell them. Stop with the "do as I say not as I do" mentality. Show them how to be happy with themselves, don't describe it to them. Show them how to keep their room clean, pick up their messes and respect things that belong to others, don't just tell them to. Show them you are proud of them, instead of just telling them. Show them where they went wrong and the right way to do it, don't tell them.

I was told once that I  may be the only example of an adult that my child ever sees then asked if I was proud of what they were seeing and how I would feel if it were the other way around.

 Pay attention to and put more importance on what you are showing those you love and care about and less on what you are telling them. Hell, just make it a habit to do it with everyone in your life. It shouldn't matter how well you know them or if you'll ever see then again. Everyone deserves the same respect until they SHOW you otherwise... 

LWH2020

Growing up

At a certain point, hopefully right now, we need to grow up. We need to listen to that voice of reason inside of us. We need to trust it.

We know everything there is to know about ourselves, the thing is that there is much that we don't want to know. 

We know deep down that there are things in our life that are working and there are things that aren't working. There are functional things and dysfunctional things. 

It's human nature to not want to look at those things that aren't working. We pretend they aren't there or we convince ourselves that we can fix them.

Growing up is about having the courage to face those things we are in conflict with. We can take a self inventory if we are unsure. The main thing is that we bring them to the light. We see them for what they are, we own them and we get rid of them by confessing them to someone else and asking God to help us get rid of them. 

It takes willingness, faith, courage and trust but in the end the freedom we gain is worth it. 

We are free to be ourselves. No longer chained to old behaviors. We no longer have to wear masks. We no longer have to accept being treated less than.

 We gain humility, knowing we are no longer less than but remembering that we are no better than. We are all equal and we make mistakes but having grown up, we now learn from those mistakes rather than continue to repeat them. 

When I feel like I'm at a dead end road in life, I'm getting nowhere or going in circles, that's not the time to just give up but it is time to surrender. Surrender my will, my way of doing things. It's time for a change. It's time to grow up. 

Growing up means maturing, allowing ourselves to be taught, being willing to take an honest look at ourselves, owning what we see both good and bad, learning from our mistakes, admitting when we're wrong then trying to make things right and making an effort to continue doing these things.  When we do that circle will straighten out, we'lll get off of that Dead end Street and start living life again but this time a life worth living.

LWH 2020

Five rules for men to follow to a happy life

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh and enjoys being with you.

3. It's important to have a woman you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who takes care of herself and she's good in bed. 

5. It's very, very, VERY IMPORTANT, that these four women do not know each other. 

LWH2020