Stressed

Success

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . having friends.

At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

Truths

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

My late resolutions

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes me think.

4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut!

8. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Make pizza a major food group.

10. Create loose ends.

11. Get more toys.

12. Get further in debt.

13. Start believing politicians.

14. Break at least one traffic law.

15. Fly more.

16. Take a bath every other day.

17. Associate with even worse business clients.

18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

19. Wait around for opportunity.

20. Focus on the faults of others.

21. Mope about faults.

22. Never make New Year's resolutions again.